http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/celebuzz/RfKn/~3/WvcRJKJf3w4/fff_reminder122909.html Hey! Are you having a good holiday? We are. Just the other day, Intern George got into the cooking sherry, and well, let's just say it was some verrrrry interesting peanut-butter-and-jelly that we had for lunch. We laughed, we cried, we made him write down the recipe, etc.
However: That's not the point. This is. That's right, we left you hanging with a Freaky Fug Friday contest, and even though we're not resuming regularly scheduled postings until January 4, we ARE still accepting entries this week. So if you're looking for procrastinatory material at work this week, or you're at home and you're bored, consider putting your mind to a haiku about Hailey Glassman and her douchetastic backless shirt. Enter, and then enter again, and then again. And again.
See you next Monday! Be safe and have a happy new year.
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http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/fugs_and_pieces122309.html And here it is: Our last post before the holiday break. For me, that means spiking my hot chocolate with kahlua -- or rather, spiking my kahlua with a little bit of hot chocolate -- and preparing our traditional Christmas Eve feast of bangers and mash, eaten by the fireplace while watching Blackadder's Christmas Carol. I CAN'T WAIT. Because this time of year turns me into an 11-year old. I am totally leaving out milk and cookies for Santa even though -- SPOILER, children, LOOK AWAY -- I am going to be eating them myself.
Have a happy, healthy, safe, luxurious, rip-roaring, alternately rambunctious and relaxing, rapacious, and rockin' holiday. We can't wait to get back together on January 4, after our brief but (hopefully) restorative holiday break, to laugh at the awesome haiku entries and shine the fug light on some more celebrity outfits. Have an awesome holiday. Frankly, we think you guys are the bee's knees. True story.
And now, without further yammering:
-- If you want to plan your next vacation based on which hotels celebrities use for their trysts, then this handy guide is made for you. [Oyster Hotel Reviews] -- Gawker wonders, who is the hipster of the decade? HOW TO CHOOSE JUST ONE? [Gawker] -- Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell all released statements about the experience of stepping into Heath Ledger's shoes to finish his last film, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. Unsurprisingly, they slobber all over Terry Gilliam, but once you get past that, their words about Heath are really touching in their eloquence, and remind us all of a talent lost too soon. [LaineyGossip] -- Two intrepid New York staffers test-drive the Louis Vuitton bunny ears. Yes, you read that right. [The Cut] -- EW wants you to help them select the dress of the decade. And before you comment, remember that Bjork's swan dress? TOTALLY eligible. [EW.com] -- Demi Moore's lawyer is hopping mad. The photographer that claims Demi's W cover was airbrished got sent a letter that claims defamation. Celebitchy overlays the cover photo with the runway image that's caused the brouhaha, along with a statement from the photographer. Drama! [Celebitchy] -- Speaking of the Moore-Kutcher-Willis clan, Ashton Kutcher claims The Beautiful Life: TBL failed because nobody knew it was on, which is... charitable of him, considering that everybody I know was fully aware it was on and simply chose not to watch it, or tried and found it unwatchable. But, potato, po-tah-to! At any rate, for those of you who WOULD have been total die-hards, the series is getting a second life on YouTube. Even if you don't care, click on the article just to see how cranky the author is about having to deal with the person referred to in her professional life by the idiotic moniker "iJustine." [Washington Post] -- And finally, what better way to celebrate the holidays than by zapping someone with a cattle prod?
http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/fug_the_cover_leighton_meester122309.html  I first saw this cover on Girl with a Satchel and I really wish someone had been here to see my face when it loaded in its entirety. Because of how I looked like I just got shoved off the Sue Sylvester Express, Destination: HORROR. You guys, I love Blair, but the more I see Leighton Meester in Non-Blair-Environs, the more I NEVER want to see her out of character, EVER. Eyes so smokier than mine during California's last batch of wildfires, plus red lips (great, but big eyes AND big lips can make you look like a mail order bride as costumed by someone working on an early season of Law and Order), plus quasi-coy finger-biting, AND not-coy-enough hem lifting? WE GET IT. YOU'RE NAUGHTY. IT'S BORING.
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http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/no_fugbt122309.html It's always tough to fug people's winter wear, because when it's freezing outside and there's just been a snowpocalypse, I am of the mind that one should put on whatever one needs in order to live.
And if that happens to be a coat that's an ode to color bars, well, so be it. As an added bonus, if Joseph's technicolor dreamcoat gets lost at the cleaners, she can sell him this replacement. Easy money.
http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/freaky_fug_fri-wednes-day_hail.html Today is our last day of posting before we take a Christmas break; we'll be back on Monday, January 4. But we couldn't leave you without homework! We're like those teachers who JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND, except that we actually think this might be a fun way to kill time until the new year if you're stuck at work. And so:
THE PICTURE, PART 1:
 [Photos: Splash News]
THE SUBJECT: Hailey Glassman, noted ex-paramour of renowned shithead Jon Gosselin, sporting a shirt by famed purveyor of asshat-wear, Ed Hardy (Christian Audigier's label).
THE PICTURE, PART II:
THE VENUE: A "celebrity" girl-on-girl boxing event in Pennsylvania, at which the only celebrity in attendance appeared to be Glassman, who refereed. She's allegedly dating the promoter, and now there are all these rumors that Jon wants to punch him, and it's essentially a giant serving of Douche Pudding.
THE CHALLENGE: Everyone enjoys a haiku, so let's play around with those again. We don't care if they mention nature, or the season, or the name of a fish, or whatever the standard technical haiku rules are. BUT, there is one caveat: Since we're announcing the winner in 2010, please include the words "new" and "year" somewhere in your poem. Easy-peasy, right? Surely these photos will give you plenty of inspiration. I know they're almost certainly inspiring the baby Jesus to skip out on Earth altogether and start again in another galaxy.
THE DEADLINE: 10 p.m. on the night of Sunday, January 3.
Have at it, Fug Nation.
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http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/fffwinner_122209.html At last, our dirty affair with this photo has come to an end, and it can stop haunting our dreams with its ruthless evils.
The winner: Cecily. And here is the winning rhyming couplet:  [Photo: FlynetOnline.com]
By Cecily
"The lamp being rubbed was older than thought
And out popped a genie whose mess was red hot."
Another week, another awesome contest. Our holiday present to you: We'll run one over the Christmas break, beginning tomorrow -- so be sure and swing by to check the photo.
http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/xfugina.html Just the other day, I was wondering to someone what ever happened to Christina Aguilera -- probably because I spend the entirety of every episode of Jersey Shore thinking that Snooki totally looks like an oranger version of the Dirrty Xtina. Other than popping up on DirectTV commercials, Christina has seemingly kind of disappeared. I'm sure she has more money than several small banks, and she's probably just enjoying being a mom while her son is so young, but I kind of miss her. She could really sing and also she used to show up places wearing chaps or hotpants or hot plates and it was fun. You know? Those were the days. Anyway, just ONE DAY after I wondered where she was, HERE SHE IS:  [Photo: FlynetOnline.com]
A) I apparently have magical powers. Ergo, I hereby wonder why Jon Hamm hasn't stopped by with a foot-long meatball sub for me yet. I SAID, I WONDER WHY JON HAMM HASN'T STOPPED BY WITH A MEATBALL SUB. B) Fine, I guess my magical powers are unpredictable. Regardless! HERE'S XTINA! C) And while I wouldn't have used the curtains from the guest bedroom as my scarf, it has been chilly here, so God bless.
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http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/unfug_it_up_paris_hilton122209.html Just the other day, I was standing on the corner near the Beverly Center, waiting to cross the street. And I was looking at all the people in their cars, and I noticed a baby blue Bentley convertible and I thought, "that looks like Paris Hilton's car" -- please, someone beat me senseless with a sock full of quarters because I actually knew that -- and INDEED, who was driving said car but Ms Hilton, talking on her phone and, of course, heading Kitson-ward? It gives me pleasure to inform you that I appeared to be the only person who recognized her. Apparently, however, she has not been erased from our collective consciousness entirely, because someone took a picture of her:  This is one of those things where I feel like if I were to strip away all the bells and whistles, the dress itself might be rather cute. It also might be on of those things where if someone I liked was wearing it -- like, say, I don't know, Kirsten Dunst (where you at, Kiki, by the way?) -- I might see my way to thinking it wasn't overly decked out. As it is now, can this be fixed? Does it need fixing? Do you need me to fix you a drink? Have at it in the comments!
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http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/fug_or_fab_the_cover_lady_gaga.html  I was just talking to someone about Elle the other day, and I explained that the reason I like Elle is that it is not afraid of words. They put copy all over the place. There is a wealth of little bits and pieces to read, and because I like to actually read my magazines as much as I like to look at their pretty, shiny pictures, I appreciate that. It's nice to pick up a magazine that doesn't seem to think you are merely an illiterate magpie. And speaking of things that are refreshing: how nice is it to see Lady Gaga without her hands clenched into Fashion Claws while wearing a speculum on her head and a bodice made of prime rib, or whatever? I've been yapping for MONTHS to people that I don't think she needs all that I'm Wearing A Bra of Flames And Flour For Mascara folderol, because girlfriend is actually talented, and such bells and whistles are best deployed by someone who needs to distract the audience from her desperate need for AutoTune. And I know that a person currently surfing the Internet just screamed that Gaga needs a mask of old Time magazines made into origami swans or something because she's secretly heeeeedious, but I think this cover actually proves that she's totally attractive. And looks JUST LIKE MADONNA (especially if you squint just the slightest bit, or have been drinking a little.)
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http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/breakfast_at_fugffanys122209.html Oh, Anna Friel. I wish we'd been paying attention to your stage-door exits all along.
That jumpsuit is so slickery and puffy, it seems for all the world like it's lined with thinsulate. She looks as if she just hung up her skis and is sidling into the lodge to have some soup in a bread bowl before hitting the slopes again.
This did make me want to take a look back at what she wears when she's leaving the theatre, just in case we missed something. Now, Anna here has starred in many performances, so this is only really a random sampling. But she does appear to love the black-and-white: 
I don't hate this, though -- I was going to complain that I wish she'd done it with skinny pants instead of leggings, but I think I see a zipper. I THINK. I stopped staring at her crotch after a while because it felt rude, as we don't even know each other. Wait, that sentence makes it sound like if I DO know you, then LOOK OUT, Crotch-Ogler ahoy. Which isn't true. It's awkward staring at someone's groin regardless, unless they have said, "Hey, is my zipper undone?" or "Does my groin look fat in this?" Which Anna has not, which brings me full circle back to: the outfit. (Phew!) I can imagine, in my mind's eye, that she's about to hop on her horse and go on a fox hunt through the countryside, making sure she lags behind from the pack and dismounts in a remote corner of the woods, where she'll meet her lover and tryst with him briskly against a tree before picking bark out of her hair and re-emerging with everyone else via a handy shortcut. Interestingly, Anna IS rumored to be macking on her young co-star Joseph Cross, thanks to photos that seem to have caught them acting tenderly and him with her "signature red lipstick" smeared on his mouth, to the point where instead of going out after the show the other night, she went straight home to David Thewlis, who stood on their front step waiting for her car to pull up after the performance and then yelled at the assembled paparazzi. DRAMA.
Anyway:
Footless tights and shoes that make her foot look freakishly long? Why not! This is the point in this post, incidentally, where all my ensuing work got lost because Google Chrome hatefully flashed up an "Oops!" screen. Which it does at least twice a day, and now it is officially dead to me. So I can't remember what comment I made about the those canoes on her feet. Let's all assume it was hilarious with a dash of barbed truth about it. Thanks.
** And in fact, it totally is a tan strap on the shoe, and not footless tights. I just can't see. Maybe I was blinded by my Google rage.
And from footless tights we go straight to...
... footless Anna. Although I'm pretty sure the male British Airways flight attendant from whom she purloined those tragic pantaloons would very much like them returned before he is fined.
This, I like. It's one of the many swingy dresses she's worn. I actually wondered briefly if this was one of her costumes, and she was pulling a Morgan-from- Project Runway by wearing it out on the town when she isn't supposed to and risking a giant stain and/or rip. But I'd much rather assume, because it satisfies the shopper in me, that Anna is not an idiot and instead just has a ginormous wardrobe so that she can wear something new each time she trots out of the theatre. Aside from the distractingly urine-colored beverage in her Evian bottle, which I take to be iced tea, I think she's adorable. Less so in this dress:
 Judging by the transparent shirt's limp creases and sad exposure of the tube bra, it is as uninspired by being part of this outfit as I am in viewing it. At first I thought the frock was hopeless and dumpy, but the more I look at it, the more I wonder if it has merits but just an impossible neckline for anything except a Free The Nips rally. Oh, Anna. I loved you in Pushing Daisies, and I LOVED Chuck's wardrobe. And Chuck would of course love this, if it came with a giant lime green hat, and also was totally different in both style and hue. Maybe Anna should spend the next week or two living by the mantra WWLTCC do -- a.k.a., "What Would Lonely Tourist Charlotte Charles Do?" I suspect she'd start by scrapping the leather ski boots we also saw in the first photo of this entry. Now THAT'S what I call bringing things full-circle.
http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/lindsay_fughan122209.html Lindsay Lohan: Heading to a house party...
 [Photo: Splash News]
... or headed for her family's cherished annual Lingerie Fly-Fishing weekend?
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http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/fugdrina_patridge122209.html The lady to Audrina's left appears to be doing exactly what I did when I saw these pants.
 [Photo: Splash News]
Which is to say, clutching at anyone in the vicinity and saying, "Dear GOD, do my eyes deceive me, or are those HIGH-WAISTED SEQUINED SLACKS? WTF? IS SHE EIGHTY-SEVEN?"
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http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/unfug_or_fab_it_up_anna_friel.html Anna Friel has been modeling quite an assortment of ensembles as she leaves her performance of Breakfast at Tiffany's every evening. I am impressed. When I was at the height of my majestic theatrical career (high school), I shuffled out to my waiting car (Mom's) wearing only the finest sweatpants created by the most exclusive designers (the Gap). But A. Fri has been sporting all kinds of vintage finery, like so:  [Photo: WENN.com]
I both rather like this, AND feel like there's something off about it -- something I can't quite seem to put my finger on. What say ye, Fug Nation? Can it be made more fabulous, or has its limit of fabulousity been reached? Comments ahoy.
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http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/fools_fug122109.html As we approach the close of a decade, we've been inundated with Lists: The Best Blah of Yadda, the Worst Blee of Blarg, the Top Ten Flarg of Wad, and so on. And now it seems that perhaps Kate Hudson is, this week, in the process of modeling a Top Ten List on her body:  [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]
The Top Ten Most Painful Trends of the Decade: 1) Uggs with Minis: Are you cold, or not? MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
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http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/new_years_fuggin_eve122109.html So, I don't want to spoil Carson Daly's New Year's Bangin' Eve or whatever his special will be called, but apparently Rihanna and Jay-Z recently were either filming a pre-taped performance for it, or were rehearsing. (I hope Shy Ronnie attended.) And Rihanna's wardrobe once again does not disappoint.
She started out thusly:  [Photos: Splash News]
Apparently they are shooting this special on Hoth. I desperately hope there's not a portion of the show where she has to slice open Jay-Z and use his innards for warmth.
And then: 
Apparently even Hoth has an Eliza Doolittle. But I think the kind of flowers she sells at her stand are the ones with colored condoms taped to the inside of their cardboard petals.
Well, there's no need for THAT kind of hostility. It's not MY fault you wore baggy high-waisted trousers with a Madonna corset and a Bobby Trendy hat. Don't come crying to ME when the snow collecting in your navel gives it frostbite.
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http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/freaky_fug_friday_vote_it_up.html One more week with entries so masterful Choosing three finalists, believe me, was...something that rhymes with "masterful" and means "difficult." Damn, this is hard! Anyway, some how we managed. As a refresher, the subject: [Photo: FlynetOnline.com]
And your finalists!
NUMBER ONE: By Moonay
Unfortunate mess, crazed Pamela has chosen,
But I see the future: Beware, Taylor Momsen!
Number Two: By Meghan
A deranged horny granny in Ru Paul's leotard?
What Pam needs for Christmas is a fashion lifeguard.
Number Three: By Cecily
The lamp being rubbed was older than thought
And out popped a genie whose mess was red hot.
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